What an eventful wednesday. Wednesday is my longest day. There are 7 periods of lessons everyday, and on wednesday, i have 6 periods. My busiest day. Secondary 1 classes are easier to handle compared to sec 2 classes. They still have the pri sch mentality, which means if u shout in their faces they'll listen. Special mention to this boy in one of my sec 1 classes. He really makes me wanna laugh even though he pisses me off.
Sec 1 boy ( no names here)This guy is constantly bullied by the rest of the class. Maybe because the rest of the class feels that his reaction is so funny that they have to bully him to have a good laugh. 2 days ago, i scolded him for constantly laughing in class. I pulled him out of the class to scold him, i shouted at him, but he just kept insisting that something his classmates wrote was so funny that he cant stop laughing. I got pissed and asked him to stop laughing immediatly. But he couldn't. HAHAHAHA! So there i was staring at him looking at him trying to stop laughing, so he was banging his head and looking frustrated saying " why cant i get it out of my head". And den laughing all over again.
So today, i gt pissed with the class again. Its no big deal really, i'm pissed when i go into every lesson everyday. I'm fine the moment i walk out. Anw, so today, i refused to let him go to the toilet. Apparently he was quite urgent. So the whole class was bullying him again, making the 'shhhhh' sound to get him to pee in his pants. When i threatened the whole class not to make another noise, there was peace for 1 min, before he disrupted my lesson with his talking and laughter. When i demanded a reason for his laughter, he showed me a piece of paper which was passed to him with the words
'shhhhhhhh' written on it. HAHAHAHA!! Seriously he cracks me up. I would love to laugh with them, but still got to put up an act.
2E5And now for 2E5, my form class for these few weeks. They're the rowdiest of my classes. But still my favourite. Class today was as usual very rowdy. But i allowed them to do their own things after i finished teaching. Which usually meant class party with the guys playing chinese chess in 1 corner, balls of paper flying around the classroom, another bunch of girls hugging in another corner and a lot of them surrounding my table screaming at the top of their voices. So today, 1 of the girls pissed me off. And she started singing to maybe attempt to cool me down. And i dunno why but i just laughed. So another girl pissed me off, and the first gal told her to sing to me. Like wth. So there i was laughing when both of them started singing in my face.
Teaching is tough. U need a lot of passion to teach. But there's nothing like having kids brighten up your day with their teenage problems. Quiet classes are nice to teach. But rowdy classes have the most fun. Maybe i can say this becos the responsibility of their grades will soon be handed back to their teacher. Its the different characters you meet in class that makes the job fun. Sure, i lose more of my voice each day scolding these trouble makers, but well, they're funny. Kids really do have the most fun.
Now don't get the wrong idea... I'm not crazy over the prawns. Just mad at the fact that one of my neighbours rang the doorbell like a MILLON TIMES, woke me up from a deep sleep, interrupted a sweet dream which i have no memory of at this point of time, JUST! just to give my dad tempura prawns!!!!!!!!!! And for those who remember what my doorbell sounds like, its damn irritating, especially when u're trying to slp. And in my state of shock, she went on about how i tell should relay the instructions for cooking the prawns to my dad.
I might sound freaking pissed, but thanks for the prawns Mrs Chea. Nice lady, friendly neighbour. Need more of such people around. For me, I just hate to wake up. Every morn its the same, i wake up feeling pissed, wanting to go back to slp. The only person who can attempt to wake me up without me making a fuss is my dad. Maybe cos he's always been the one doing it. Yes.. My dad still wakes me every morn. I am blessed,
not spoilt, for those who're jumping to conclusions about me. If my mum is the one waking me, i'm sure it'll end up in an arguement. She just thinks making a lot of noise will wake me up. And all the shouting and nagging just doesnt work for me in the mornings. I need peace and quiet in the mornings. I can take whatever nonsense thrown at me after i'm fully awake.
Been lazy to blog for the whole week. Bet everybody missed me posting. Haha... My kids having their common test next week. But it seems like the teacher is the only one who's worried. They can still play afool in class, not listen in lessons, don't bother to hand up homework. Seems like a reflection of myself in secondary school. But den again, i'm smart and talented so its ok. Wahahahaha. Got to think of some ways to wake these kids up.
Went jamming on friday. Haven't touch the drums since before NS. Damn noob now. But it was fun. We're doing it again next week. Hopefully i get it back. Our band name is called The Buay Gan. It means The Cannot Make It. How inspirational. But Sek's leaving for Aussie in 2 weeks. That's one person down. Alex is enlisting in march, another down. Wkends nowadays are always spent with them. Which is great cos mj gang is busy studying in uni. Supposed to meet next week for Kang's Bday next week. Crap. 3 impt events on the same day when normally i gt nothing else better to do. Kang's Bday, Sek's sending off party and CNY dinner. Think i've alrd chosen which one to go to. Sorry to disappoint you Kang Kang. Might miss out on some ang poas too but i could always visit my relatives during CNY. Yep think sending off my longest known fren is more impt. Not that Kang's bday or meeting my relatives is not. Well i just had to make a choice, i'm sure u guys will understand.
I guess the most fearful thing about growing is knowing that our choices will affect our lives greatly. As kids, we had our parents decide for us whether we like it or not. But as you grow up, you get more freedom and you get to make those impt decisions yourself. I appreciate that freedom of choice. Shows who u are as a person, shows wat u value most in your life. Not every decision made will be a good one, but its a choice made by you as a person. If you regret your decision, den you change your character as a person. And you don't make the same mistake again.
Thinking about it for 3 years, i still haven't decided wat course i wanna go into. Some might say i'm fickle and indecisive. But if i have 3 years to think about it, i'm gonna take 3 years to think about it la! No point making a rash decision and end up regreting it. Society changes constantly and to fit it we have to change as well, change our way of thinking, our way of life and our education. I hate making decisions, because i noe i don't have all the necessary knowledge to make the best one. And asking most people about what they think usually results in biased opinions cos they always think what they choose is the best. Might be the best for them, but not me. So oh well.. Guess i'm on my own. Just another month before the A lvl results are released. Another month to think about my course. Still long la.. Hahaha.. But no matter wat i choose, i'll try to be happy wif it. So far my life has turned out pretty well. Even though some people keep saying i complain a lot haha.. But i complain just for the fun of it la.. I noe my life is good. I just like to make it more exciting by emphasizing on the negative stuff. Even fairy tales have dark parts in their stories.
We are defined by the choices we make.
Wahahahahaha! I'm home early. Finally no more napfa. Although napfa was seriously good money. But anw, new objective, train my 6 pac for cafe del mar. Going to swim nw.
Bathing is a good time to think about stuff. Was just thinking do i dislike my job, or do i just dislike working cos i've slacked for too long. I still don't have the answer, perhaps in a few weeks time i will. Hope its the latter, cos i still find some satisfaction in teaching the kids. I still like teaching and helping those who really wanna learn. Its just the few trouble makers in the class that make me hate entering that class. And also the waking up early part, which i think i'll slowly get used to.
Been rather busy these 2 weeks. Tiring 2 weeks for me, just looking forward to the wkends. Go to school in the morn, conduct NAPFA at Republic Poly in the afternoons. Its tough earning your own keep. But dunno what i'm complaining about. There are a few people out there who do not have enough money to spend, can't pay their handphone bills and they're still so jovial. I, holding a slack relief teaching job and NAPFA lobang, with good working hours and 'good' pay, complain so much. K. Starting tmr, no more complaining about job. Only complaining about kids. Cos they piss me off. Last week for NAPFA. $40 to conduct NAPFA for less than 10 people is really good money. But i'm still looking foward to next week. Next week no NAPFA i can come home at 3 for an afternoon nap. Shiok... I love afternoon naps.
Haven been blogging recently. Cos i gt a job nw. So for this 2 wks i'm kind of busy. Relief teaching in the morn, conducting napfa in the afternoon. Good money though life kind of sucks nw. I miss slacking. Maybe i've slacked for too long. Think i don't like this job because i'm working alone there. The rest of the teachers are grown ups and even though they're friendly, its not exactly the same as having someone the same age around.
Woke up at 2 today. Stayed out late last nite to celebrate Wanzi bday. Went to play soccer for awhile. It got a bit boring after awhile. So i was feeling sian the whole day. Dreading going to school tmr. Feel like slacking somemore. Having Sunday blues cos tmr i noe tmr i'll be having monday blues. Hahahahaha. The government should come up with 4 day week. 2 days to slack jus isn't enough. Another 7 more months b4 i start school. Tts a bloody long time to work.
A beautiful sky without anybody to admire with....
Wah i'm damn tired.. Teaching is draining. And i have quite little workload alrd.
1st day at work pretty much sucked. Can't believe i sat with kids who had hair problems for 3 hours. 3 hours doing nothing and just looking at them. I went to the canteen like 3 times in 2 hrs. Once a PTI always a PTI. You can always find us at the canteen. I later realised that my role was really just to enforce discipline in the school, which i think i would not be very good at. Cos i'm a NICE GUY. So i was complaining to Mr Chia over one of my many canteen breaks. Den the VP came to join us too. And it just so happens a maths teacher is on long term MC. So starting tmr i'll be teaching maths classes as well as taking his form class. Cool! It might mean more work, but i guess there's a chance to be a nice guy, not just some black face no-nonsense teacher.
Its quite cool actually. I alrd noe a few important figures in the school. Mr Chia, Mr Muru and Mr Larry Lee who is there as a student counsellor. I like Mr Larry Lee's job actually. Talking to students as a fren instead of a teacher. Maybe i should really become a counsellor. Wahahahah. I need to copy the arrogant cat here.
Nobody likes to have a black face all day i guess. Though the students don't know that but teachers are people too. And teachers have to have that black face to get some things through to the kids. Some teachers like Mr Muru just got that natural black face. LOL. But he's very nice to the staff though he's fierce with the kids.
So now i have a lot of jobs to do. Help with discipline, teach maths, conduct napfa, and i'm supposed to play drums for Zhang Pei. Crap... Last month i so free don't ask me to do. Now everything come together. But i guess being busy is fun too. I kind of like being busy. A little stress is good. Think my white hairs came about because i'm stressfree. Haha.. Okkkkkk.. Lessons tmr. Hope everything goes well.
Wahahahahaha.. Went for the Inter-JC Pageant last nite to support Alex. Practised our queue-cutting skills. From about 100 plus people in front of us, Sek and me cut to the front of the crowd. Zai. E pageant started late, at about 830 pm. The contestants danced pretty well. Nothing much to say about the pageant. Hot guys and hotter gals. Alex u're so cool. I wanna walk like you. Wahahahahha. The gals looked much better in person as compared to the photos on the website.
Went for dinner after Alex didn't qualify for the final round. So i dunno who won the pageant. The club rules are quite lame. Re-entry gt to queue up whereas new entry can go in. Stupid money-making rules. So if i come out to make a phone call, i gt to queue to go in again? The party started after that. Not a bad nite. With a bunch of crazy guys and the 2 gals.
Supper at Lao Pat Sat after that before heading home. Wah Chiew Yee damn nice. She sent everybody back home. Thanks for the lift. But her driving a bit scary. Now that i drive, i damn scared when other people drive. Like i feel everybody else is reckless. Which is quite true. My driving is good. Wahahhahahahha.
The nite was not over. We decided to have a game of dota. Hahaha.. Post party game. Crazy nite. Wont be having so many of these when i start work and everybody else starts sch. Next one will be cafe del mar b4 Sek flies for Aussie. Anybody wanna come?
Had a job interview this morning. Didn't really feel like an interview. Felt like i was already hired and they were just telling us about the job scope. Cool.. I don't have to go through the hassle of finding a job now. Hope 65 bucks is already with CPF deducted. Otherwise my income will be quite low. I bet all students have wondered what their teachers talk about over lunch. Haha.. they talk cock too..
Anyway that's it for tonite. Can't think. Too much stuff to think about now.
If you want people to understand you, you will tell them about yourself. - Yvonne Ng
2008 is here. Back to school for all the students. Back to work for those who have jobs and time to start looking for one for those who are like me - free lance haha. So lets see.. what have i done in 2007........
For most of the time in 2007 i was busy defending the country. Yep, i was in the army as a PTI. It stands for Physical Training Instructor for those of u who don't know. Was accepted into the course in 2006 and passed out as a PTI in August that year. I would say this is the best thing that happened to me. Being a PTI isn't just slacking in army as everybody thinks. Sure we're slack. But i believe i learnt a lot more useful stuff as compared to many others in the other vocations. Stuff that would actually be useful to me as a person and stuff that would be useful to me when i enter society.
Before being a PTI, i wasn't comfortable talking to large groups of people. I wasn't comfortable talking to strangers. After taking large classes for RT, i gradually overcame my fear and i'm glad to say now that i'm a lot more sociable and a lot more more comfortable talking to people. It isn't just about being able to speak to large groups of people. Its also having enough interesting material when you talk to people. To crack the occasional joke that's actually funny for even 10 people to laugh. Its not something easy to do when you're standing in front of so many people and they're all waiting to hear what you have to say next. I'm thankful i had the chance to learn that.
I made good frens in the army. Lost contact with most of my BMT and Sispec people but still in contact with the PTIs. Great bunch of people. We like to think we're the elites. I can safely say no other unit will come close to even match AFC's fitness score standards. That's why we're the elites. Wahahaha!!! But anyway, i was saying that i made good frens. Knew most of them from KFCC. Guess the person that made the most impact would have to be Xavier. Great personality, great jokes, great fren. All his lame jokes and bullshit aside, he's really quite mature and his thinkings are really different from those of us who have been influenced by the education system. Another person would be Jianling. Another fun loving person, full of shit but ultimately when it comes down to work, he's serious and responsible. First impression these 2 guys might give to anyone is that they're immature. But see them work and you'll know they're pretty serious in what they do.
One thing i've learnt from them, don't stop having fun just cos u're growing up. Set aside some time to feel like a kid again, to have fun without any worries. There are others of cos. So don't feel i'm not giving you credit just cos your name isnt mentioned here. My army life has been quite enriching. It might have been slack but i'm proud of being part of the elites.
The other significant event was losing my gf. I guess i had it coming. It might have been a bad experience, but i think some good came out of it too. I've grown up a bit more after that incident and i've learnt
never to take things for granted. Not your frens, not your loved ones because they chose to stay by you, and they can choose to leave. So cherish them and appreciate them for being there. I started this blog cos i needed a place to vent my feelings. Although there isnt much to vent nowadays, i still try to blog about certain issues that i feel strongly for. To my loyal fan, thanks for reading my posts and entertaining me. I'll be slping after this posting this k.
So has 2007 been a good year for me?? I think i will say Yes. One of the best so far. There has been ups and downs. Lately it has been downs for me and some of the people around me. But to me, it has been a good year because i choose to say it has been good. And now that 2008 is here, things will definitely be better. Happy New Year everybody.
Never let growing up get in the way of you having fun. - Kian Siong
My first post of the new year. Just came back from a BBQ with the guys. It was fun. But just felt like somehow there was something missing. Maybe's its a someone not a something. Or maybe its cos i'm feeling cranky today. Anyway, Happy New Year everybody. Was looking through my files when i found this. First meaningful post of the year 2008. Enjoy.
If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart.
If you find someone else in love with you and you don't love him/her, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage, do not cause pain.
How you deal with love is how you deal with you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.
If you fall in love with another, and he/she falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame, let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time.
Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away.
Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you.
Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit.
Give it to the world around you in anyway you can.
There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them.
The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as need. They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love.
They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away. Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into staying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do.
Love always has been and always will be a mystery. Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life.
"If you want to be happy, be."---- Leo Tolstoy
