Happy Birthday Yvonne!! May you get GPA 5.0 for every sem and get married soon. Got george, tszlai, kang kang, jian yu to choose from. Just pick one. My shoulders hurt so i'll stop typing now. Stop asking me to write more. Stop pushing my head. Happy New Year's Eve to the rest of the world.
Its a damn hot day. I hate hot and humid days. U feel sticky all over and u don't produce enough sweat to get rid of the heat. I feel cooler when i'm running in the hot sun.............................
He told me he had fun. Haven't done this in a long time. Think he felt a bit hum ji, a bit awkward but i'm pretty sure it'll go away haha. I was afraid to say the truth becos it would have been quite awkward if they avoided each other. Not afraid anymore cos she's mature enuff to noe that running away does nobody any gd. She's reminds me of me. Must have been influenced by my blog.
Money it a touchy issue. There's nothing wrong with wanting more money. After all, we all want a good life for ourselves and our loved ones. This is Spore. Standard of living is high. Competition is stiff. Its alright to be greedy once in awhile. Just make sure nobody else suffers for your own personal gain.
After reading a few blogs, i realised i'm really quite lucky. I'm not going to mention names here since my blog is still open to the public. I'm not going to pretend i understand what you guys have been thru. All i can say is well done for having lived life so well after all that has happened. My family's not exactly rich. But i suppose i am far luckier than you guys. I have to thank my parents for that. Since young they have kept on reminding me the importance of money and not to waste it on unnecessary items. I might not have followed it religiously but i can at least say that i don't throw money around.
After i enlisted, i stopped taking money from my dad. Now that i had my own income i didn't want to rely too much on my parents. And right now, after i've orded for close to 2 months, i'm happy to say that i am still surviving on my savings. I really admire those of my frens who are really thrifty. It takes a lot of willpower to tell yourself "i won't buy this cos i don't need it".
I hate rich snobs. Nothing wrong with being rich. Just don't act like u don't give a shit about how much of your parents' money you throw away. Happy to say that so far i don't know anybody like that. Hope i don't appear to be one in anybody's eyes. For all those young punks out there who flaunt your wealth, its your parents' money. You're just lucky your mum gave birth to you. For those adults, you should know that a rich person doesn't need to mention that he's rich, so grow up since i've just called you an adult.
But seriously, i think kids nowadays are spoilt. Not to generalise or anything but kids seem to get more and more expensive toys these days. I can assure you that half the students in a Pri 6 class has a better handphone than me. What happened to just being contented with playing monopoly? I remember my most expensive toy at pri sch was a remote control car which costs 50 bucks. And when 1 kid starts showing off to the rest of the class his new handphone, with in-built camera, GPS, touchscreen and a million games including snake 9, you can be sure the rest of the class is going to want it too. Why does a kid need GPS anyway?? Why do adults need GPS? Get a street directory. Its not like you're going to get lost in Singapore. People are getting lazy with increased affluence. Yep.. Me included.
Discrimination between the rich and poor is pretty obvious. Alrd in my sec sch, those using laptops are set aside from those who can't afford a laptop. Seriously, wth is Hak Boon thinking? Allowing discrimination at pri or sec sch lvl sure makes me hopeful about the future or Spore's society.
My kid is playing monopoly.
Kope this from Xav's blog.
A reminder to myself
the moment you want to be somebody, you are no longer free.
i had one of those "oohh-this-statement-makes-so-much-sense!" moments right now after reading this from a blog. it got me thinking about my favourite person : myself ! how guilty am i of wanting to be someone else that i wasn't? hell, now that i think about it, i feel like im in a worse position than TT Durai.
the past few months have been enriching for my self-development. i discovered what i thought were great books, blogs, websites, places to eat. apart from putting on weight, i have developed a big heart for self-development. i learnt a lot of things, picked up a lot of beliefs and made sure to tune in to my emotions on a regular basis. this is not to say that im perfect. i still find myself forgetting all these things that im working so hard to incoporate into my lifestyle from time to time. then i came across this quote 3 months ago.
in my journey towards self-enrichment and development, i had made a few mistakes. i always thought that bettering yourself was a goodgreat thing! but was it what i really was? one fine example was trying to adopt the beliefs of being an aloof, ice-cool guy who's calm as a rock in the face of adversity. hell, i can pretend to be that, i can do it pretty well sometimes, but it was never a long term form of satisfaction for me. it was a cool persona if anything, but it wasn't really me. many of my close friends can atest to that. i was trying too hard to be someone i would admire, totally forgetting about who i really am and sometimes skipping breakfast.
in a nutshell, my confidence was growing on the wrong foundations, while my self-esteem was getting the passion of christ treatment. was i really that dull and horrible a person that people would not like me for who i really am? do people really not want to hang around a guy who cracks occasional bad jokes and talks about cheeseburgers too often? 3 months ago, i made an effort to... you could say, prostitute my real self to people. and i was amazed. people actually like that, much more in fact, or at least i feel that way, though i still like to pretend that jude law looks like me from time to time. the point is, it doesn't matter what they think. i have been told i am over-friendly, over-confident and overweight at various points of my life but so long as i was pleasing myself (haha ya i know we were all thinking of masturbation, high 5!)i didn't have a care in the world. i love saying nice things and i believe in making the world a better place each day. i still download music illegally sometimes but now i start to buy original CDs as well (but only after theres a discount, sshhh!) but the point here is that im far less worried about people's reactions now. and i have to stop side-tracking from what i have to say so often!
what i want to say is this : everyone is unique. it's perfectly okay to pick up good beliefs and attractive women but ultimately, the main attraction is still myself. i think it's fine to have a role model, but do not be a clone. i am unique and there are people in this world that can appreciate me for that. i will meet people who seem to have a problem with me digging my nose and eating my salty pi sai during my childhood days but if i can't even appreciate myself, i find it unreasonable to expect others to do so. i am unreasonable sometimes still of course but this isn't exactly asking for mee-pok and getting mee-kia instead.
i would like to hear that i was not alone in thinking that i was secretly growing up to be batman and that my dad had a hidden batmobil somewhere in a cave in the house. ladies and gentlemen, be free.
sometimes me, sometimes jude law,
xav
Haven't blogged in awhile. Went to Xavier's place for a BBQ yesterday. Think i'm going to get cancer. After watching Grey's, i seem to think every pain in my body is linked to some disease needing surgery. Its great to catch up with your frens once in awhile. Haven't seen the PTIs for some time. Nothing has changed. Jokes still the same but still as funny.
Went to camp to play soccer today. Got PSed by Xavier. Seems like there's a lot of tension between people at KFCC. First Parade everyday now. People don't seem happy with each other. Somehow i feel after the 84th batch orded all the teamwork and working together just ceased to exist anymore. Think its cos of communication.
Grey's : Communication. Its the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking, the harder it becomes to know what to say, or how to ask for what we really need. At the end of the day, there're some things that you can't help but talk about. Some things we just don't want to hear. And some things we say cos we just can't be silent any longer. Some things are more than what u say, they're what you do. Some things you say cos there's no other choice. Some things u keep to yourself. And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves.
I'm sure at some point of time in everyone's life, they have felt like they can't really say what's on their mind. We all think critically of people now and then, especially of those different from us. However, growing up has made us more us more sensitive to the feelings of the people around us. We are afraid of how our frens would react if they hear what's really on our minds. We're afraid our superiors would think less of us if said how we really feel. If only everybody could say what they really feel without fear of repercussions, then there would be transparency.
It isn't always nice to hear how other people feel, especially when their opinions differ from yours. We're all brought up in different environments, different cultures, different lifestyles hence leading to our differences in opinions. Do not get upset if someone says something that u don't wanna hear. It is his point of view and people are entitled to their own opinions. You might not agree with him, but you should know that he doesn't agree with you either. And that's the thing you both have in common. Communication is important. Be it relationships, frenship or just work, if people are to survive together, they must talk to each other. Way before Man discovered how to start a fire, they learnt to communicate. Actually i just made that up, but i think its logical right?? How to work together to start a fire if you don't communicate?
Maybe that's the reason why relationships fail, why tension rises in offices and why misunderstandings happen between close frens. Even a tiny problem can cause a rift between 2 people if the tiny problem isn't solved in time. Like cancer really.. It gets worse the longer u let it drag. But on a lighter note, i don't think there's anything that can't be worked out between people. Maybe a little compromise here, a little sacrifice there, but if you value your relationship with the people around you, i'm sure it wouldn't be too difficult.
To my lovesick fren who said you scared the love flame relight (sorry man.. this is too funny.. i must blog to rmb it.. dun be xiao qi k haha), congrats on taking the 1st step. Lying on your bed wondering if you should have called her is not going to do you any good. There's nothing wrong with feeling a little awkward after so long. But you still shouldn't avoid talking the good times u had together. It was fun. Nothing wrong with remembering something good. Once you can joke about the times u had without feeling sad, you can safely say you have moved on. Nobody knows what will happen in the future. We could all die tommorow. But how about we all be a little optimistic and convince ourselves that there will be better days.
Quote of the week : Don't be scared that the love flame relight
Went to church for Christmas service. Haven been there for quite some time. But its Christmas, u're supposed to spend it in church. Somehow all that was on my mind was brought up by Pastor Khong. Great seeing everybody again. Took a loooong train ride back home. Came out of Braddell Mrt to find that it was raining damn heavily. Sat down for a drink and read the papers while waiting for the rain to subside a little.
U guys should try watching Grey's Anatomy. Its really a good show. Meaningful. Like my blog. Some words from the show.
"We all draw lines with the people around us and hoping people do not cross them, thinking we need boundaries between ourselves and the rest of the world. But at some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep people out, they fence you in. Life is messy, that's how we're made. U can waste your life drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. If u're willing to take the chance, the view from the other side is spectacular." I think that means don't be afraid to do anything? If u're always afraid of offending people, afraid of consquences, u'll nv get anything done. If u're so afraid of approaching that special someone cos u're afraid of rejection, how will he/she even know you exist. If u're so afraid of consquences, u'll nv experience the thrill of life, and that thrill comes from not knowing what happens next. Its not easy living life. It takes guts, experience, mental strength. Pretty much like sky diving at nite. You look out the plane and its all dark, but you take that leap of faith, enjoy the thrill of your heart going into your throat and just pray that you had packed your parachute correctly. However, unlike sky diving, you don't die when things go wrong. Things don't always go your way but if you're willing to press on to the end, i'm pretty sure everything will work out just fine.
'
Boundaries don't keep people out, they fence you in.' Its up to you to open the door and let people into your life. Everybody out there will be having fun, with or without you. Its up to you whether you wanna join in the fun. So to all those who're not that sociable, try opening up a bit. Its not easy at the start, there's that fear of rejection, that fear of not meeting everybody expectations, but you are who you are and true frens will never turn you away. Of cos for those who know, this message is to my sis and maybe Tzelai? There's more to the world than just yourselves. Take a step outside. Talk to strangers on the street. You'll find people aren't always the cold hard shell they appear to be. Be sincere when interacting with others and i'm very sure they'll be very more than happy to talk to you. With all the politics in workplaces nowadays, its really hard to tell when you might be backstabbed. But lies and deceit will unveil themselves sooner or later and when that happens, you'll find yourself alone. So i say, be sincere. Be sincere to your friends, to your competition. You'll find life so much less stressful without trying to remember what lies you told last week and trying to follow up with it.
Hardly get more than 8 hrs of slp nowadays. I have nothing on my schedule but yet i wake even though i feel tired. I suppose i have too much on my mind. The same person still pops into my head every nite before i fall aslp, and she's still there the next morn when i wake up. And u can't slp when there's something on your mind. Eugene and ZP managed to get back even after 2 years. Maybe my fairy tale will end with happily ever after too. Don't know if the princess will be the same person, but i'm not getting my hopes up this time. Did that once, didn't go too well. The higher your hopes, the harder u take it when u fall.
The adult world is complicated. Wonder why we're all in a rush to grow up. Kids have the most fun. Growing up means more troubles and more responsibilities. But i guess we all have to go through that stage in life. And in the midst settling all our problems, just make sure we all remember to have fun. We live once. Why not enjoy it?
Busy week for the mahjong addicts of 0304. Met for mahjong b4 BBQ on Thursday. Went home after BBQ to prepare for Sports Day on Friday. Eugene and Kang Kang came to stay over after the BBQ. Eugene decided to go for badminton the next day even though he jus dislocated his shoulder. He dislocated his shoulder in his slp, where he dreamt he was fighting a monster and his shoulder came out when he swung his arm WHILE slping. So those reading this be careful, next time u fight a monster don't swing to hard. I've learnt that its Kang Kang is incapable of talking softly. Even when you're just next to him, in an enclosed room, he MUST communicate by shouting. To Kang Kang : "Ta ma de.. You think we all deaf ah.. Last time you go oral exam u got shout at your invigilator?" Other than that, we had a rather meaningful chat. It was fun reliving our JC days. Roofing, private PE lessons after school, going to toilet for 15 mins cause Eugene needs to comb his hair. Haha..
Friday morning. Sports Day finally here. My favourite kind of day. WOOHOO! Went to YCK Sports Complex to meet the rest for badminton. Been a long time sinced i exercised. Feels good to sweat. Edric u still owe me a game. Apparently, i have Kang Kang to thank for teaching me how to smash. Thanks man.. But i still have to say this, WAH LAO EH.. U damn noob leh.. Play with Peiyu can fall down and sprain your ankle. Headed to my house after lunch, was supposed to be playing bball but decided to wait till we weren't feeling so full. And so in the meantime, the addicts played their favourite game. Finally left the house to play bball at 5 but we got chased out of the school cos we didn't have permission to play there. Oh well, like i said there's a bright side to everything. We reached my house just when the rain was starting to get heavy. So thanks for chasing us away. Otherwise i'm quite sure that at least 1 of us would have fallen sick. Actually, maybe at most 1 of us would have fallen sick.
And so night fell, and still the addicts played their favourite game. All was well till 2 of them decided that their addiction was not worth losing slp over, and so everybody went to slp at 4. This bunch of addicts never played with real cash before. Maybe we all value the interaction during the game rather than monetary reward at the end. MJ with this gang has always been fun. Instead of going to starbucks or coffeebean and chatting over a drink, we catch up over a MJ game. Ten years later, the scene will still be the same. 4 people sitting at a table shouting 'PONG'. Because MJ frens are for life right? =) I shall just copy the events of the night from Von and Kang's blog. Lazy to type..
[Extract from Von]
After dinner, it was MJ big battle 757868769748953265 rounds. I won super a lot cause KS trying to follow Edric's style and block his xia jia. He ended up feeding his shang jia (me). Hahaha. So my seat was the only winning one at that time. Cool. Went out and talked on the phone and my phone died after that. Haha. They were like suaning me like mad after I went back to the room.They were waiting for break but Kang kept lian zhuang-ing. KS's dad cooked our leftover satay from yesterday for us. Damn nice. Whoo~ I told Kang, it's because I didn't play that's why he can lian-zhuang so long. True enough, when I join in again, I became the one to lian zhuang. Hahaha!! I'm just zai!Through the night, we had our individual lows and highs but generally, at every point there was someone feeling uber high. I felt high when it was around 2am and it lasted for quite long. Till 4am I think. Quite funny. In between, there was the bai ban incident (Kang, blog about this, my hands tired already) which was super hilarious!! Hahaha. The night was great. Kang wanted to jump off to bed then he jumped back to the table again and so we ended up playing till 5am. Haha. While we were sleeping and talking, the "da wan xi and bei" was repeated one million times. Haha. Me and MY refused to play the xi and bei cause we were freaking tired. KS and Kang still high, don't know over what. Oh ya, there was a point where me, Kang and KS were super high laughing like mad almost like we were high on drugs. Hahaha. Crazy. Everything seemed funny at that time. Even something not funny at all. Haha.While we lie down, we chatted and talked. Haha, I think my story telling skills improving. Kang and KS both want me to say story to them before they sleep. Hahaha. Told them a story about yi ge xiao nv hai and liang ge xiao nan sheng, ie, me and them. Hahaha. Quite funny. Edric and Mengyi were like pigging immediately. Edric slept the most!! Haha. Piggified!!
[Extract from Kang]
Von ask me to say this part... kian siong was calling for cards during one of the game and he say he bao da pai and he has a pair of bai ban inside, so i tried to be garang and discard the bai ban, in the end he has none and von won with that bai ban... sian... haha... oh, we decided to come up with our own rule for mj, got the wan fuo chao zhong, old macdonald had a farm, gang shang mei gui hua and so... its was funny when we were discussing about it...
We had delayed our class gathering for close to half a year now, and we finally had a BBQ at Wanting's house last nite. Ok.. My fault for not being able to get the chalet in June. But I'm a busy man, and i had the important task of defending the country entrusted to me in June. When i heard about Yue Fei in secondary school, i told myself i must be like him, 敬忠报国.
Anw, it was great to see everybody yesterday. Especially those whom i don't hang out so often with, like Wanting, Xueni, George and Jae Chia. We should have at least 1 every year or half a year, just to catch up and see how everybody is doing. BBQs are fun. Eating, drinking and talking nonsense, what's there not to like about BBQs. And of cos Von has once again managed to hook another guy. Though he's a bit ecentric and different from us, don't be so mean to him la.. Von, u should give him a chance.
Jae Chia offered me a job at his school. 65 bucks for half a day of work. That's quite a good deal. Awesome. Now i don't have to go to the trouble of finding one when January comes. But being a teacher sounds kind of boring. My objective before uni term starts was actually to learn as many things as possible and also having 10k in my account. Now after i've orded for a month, i'm having mixed feelings about it. Don't feel like working so hard now. Just feel like lazing around. On the other hand, lazing around means no income for me. And it gets boring when everybody returns to school and i'm stuck at home with nothing to do and with no gf to spend time with. BORING.... I definitely need to work.
My first post. How about talking about why i decided to start a blog. I guess I've jus passed another stage of my life. Those who know what i'm talking about know that I haven't exactly been in the best of moods these few weeks.To all my Frens, thanks for keeping me company these few weeks. I really can't imagine being by myself after all that has happened. I never used to make the effort to even keep in contact with my frens. Now i noe Frens are important. More important than your other half. Because your frens can't break up with you. Haha..To Selina, thanks for the wonderful memories throughout these 2 years. Before i met u, i was contented with my life. After knowing you however, you allowed me to experience happiness, sadness and a whole bunch of other emotions which cannot be described by the limited words in the English language. I can't say i agree with your views at this point of time. But i accept them and respect your decision. Mainly because i have no choice. Haha.. Hopefully in time to come i'll understand you better and you can change your mind about me. But every cloud has a silver lining. I guess after all this, i've grown up a little. I've finally realised what i actually cherish the most in my life, and that would be my Frens whom i have actually taken for granted. I know now that there's no such thing as love at first sight and it is actually built from the first day the both of you started on that wonderful journey together, and also that it doesn't disappear the day you let go of each other's hands. I once told myself happiness is a choice. That no matter what happens, if you choose to be happy, nothing can get to you. Its hard to be optimistic sometimes, but if we all dwell in the past, we'll never move on. Its even harder to forget sometimes, in fact, the harder you try to, the more deeply etched memories become. Maybe we could all try that for our exams, try to forget the things you've studied to remember it. Someone try that for your next sem and tell me how it goes. Haha.. But i guess instead of forgetting the sadness in your life, accept it and look on the bright side of things. I'm pretty sure there're loads of happiness in your life too. Hope i can do what i say. Cause its not easy. But once again, thanks to all my Frens who've made it so much easier.I'm a forgetful person. The moment i'm all better i forget how sad i was before. That might be a good thing. But i prefer to remember. Guess that's what this blog is for. To keep a log of everything in my life. When i look back 5 years later, i'll still remember the promises i made to myself and the people around me. I'll wanna remember all the significant events in my life, all the happiness and joy, all the jokes and laughter, all the sadness and tears and all the anger and pain. They're all part of being human so dun be afraid of experiencing them. A line from Tuesdays with Morrie - Wash yourself with the emotion. It won't hurt you. It will only help. If you let the fear inside, if you pull it on like a familiar shirt, then you can say to yourself, " Alright, it's jus fear, i don't have to let it control me. I see it for what it is." I think i write well too. Haha.. Probably cause i'm writing something i feel for. Not some stupid GP essay about why i agree to a certain extend that the Earth is round. Or something in that general area. Yep alright.. That's it for now. Plenty more to write. I'll save some for the future in case i run out of things to do.
